Domestic abuse

Does your partner, ex-partner or someone you live with: 

• cut you off from family and friends and intentionally isolate you? 
• bully, threaten, or control you? take control of your finances? 
• monitor or limit your use of technology? 
• physically and/or sexually abuse you?

Domestic abuse is not always physical violence. It can also include:

• coercive control and 'gaslighting'. Gaslighting is a form of manipulation where someone says things that make you question yourself, your memory, or reasoning. 
• Bullying
• economic abuse 
• online abuse 
• threats and intimidation 
• emotional abuse 
• sexual abuse 

Just one encounter counts as abuse, and it can also be an ongoing pattern of behaviour. The one constant element of domestic abuse is the abuser's consistent efforts to maintain power and control over the victim. Domestic abuse can affect anyone regardless of ethnicity, age, gender, sexuality or social background.

If you are suffering from physical, sexual, psychological or financial abuse, or are being threatened, intimidated or stalked by a current or previous partner or close family member, it’s likely you’re a victim of domestic abuse. You may be feeling frightened, isolated, ashamed or confused.  

Sometimes victims don’t recognise that they are suffering from abuse, especially if it’s been happening for a long time. Or maybe you suspect a friend or neighbour is being abused. Typical signs include:  

• being withdrawn, or being isolated from family and friends 
• having bruises, burns or bite marks having finances controlled, or not being given enough to buy food, medication or pay bills 
• not being allowed to leave the house, or stopped from going to college or work having internet or social media use monitored, or someone else reading texts, emails or letters 
• being repeatedly belittled or put down being pressured into sex or sexual contact

If you have children it may be that they too are suffering, whether they witness the abuse or not. Remember, you are not to blame for what is happening.